Welcome to the Golden Globes, where everything is made-up and the awards don't matter.
Onto our real article.
Ben Brantley’s theatre review of “Picnic” by William Inge oozes style and panache.
But that’s really all that he oozes. Giving the reader a five-paragraph long description of a walking, hairless torso, perfectly chiseled as if it were a mobile “marble statue” is sure to tickle jollies, though we wanted something more than just the waist up.
Mr. Brantley wrote his biography backwards, if that says anything. Oh, and he is also single.
Brantley admits that “objectification is a major theme of ‘Picnic,’” which excuses his own ogling (he also pays dues to lead actress Maggie Grace’s “exquisitely shaped pair of legs” and her “not-so-bad face” if we are to be fair), however his analysis is only skin-deep.
Though dropping to slightly more serious tone to address the sexual themes of the play in the latter half of the article, highlighting “the role of prettiness as both a burden and an aspiration” as a major undertone to the play, it seems that his own ‘but’ only addresses the chemistry of the actors in the play.
Who is just ogling now, Brantley?
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| Ha! You thought we were going to talk about the Golden Globes? No one cares about the Golden Globes. |
Ben Brantley’s theatre review of “Picnic” by William Inge oozes style and panache.
But that’s really all that he oozes. Giving the reader a five-paragraph long description of a walking, hairless torso, perfectly chiseled as if it were a mobile “marble statue” is sure to tickle jollies, though we wanted something more than just the waist up.
Mr. Brantley wrote his biography backwards, if that says anything. Oh, and he is also single.
Brantley admits that “objectification is a major theme of ‘Picnic,’” which excuses his own ogling (he also pays dues to lead actress Maggie Grace’s “exquisitely shaped pair of legs” and her “not-so-bad face” if we are to be fair), however his analysis is only skin-deep.
Though dropping to slightly more serious tone to address the sexual themes of the play in the latter half of the article, highlighting “the role of prettiness as both a burden and an aspiration” as a major undertone to the play, it seems that his own ‘but’ only addresses the chemistry of the actors in the play.
Who is just ogling now, Brantley?
Co-written by Zac Clark and Jon Husar
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